Forward from Alyssa-

Our wedding was so fun! (For kicks and giggles I uploaded some pictures of it). We were blessed with so much advice and prayer. Joel’s thoughts on a piece of advice he frequently received before we got married below.


If there is one piece of marriage advice I have heard from nearly every husband I have encountered in my short time being married, it is “HWHL.” And as I ordinarily perceive this as a “burdened” and “relenting” reply, I sense in it a lack of zeal for marriage in general… which I HATE.

First of all, the saying “Happy Wife, Happy Life” immediately singles out the needs of only one in the union. And in just 1.5 years of our marriage, I have come to find that “If only one is happy, no one is really happy.” As men and women, we are created to empathize and have compassion for each other. This facet is magnified in marriage. It reminds me of 1 Corinthians 12:26: “If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.” Luckily the body of marriage has only three parts: God, husband, and wife!

Men shouldn’t have to be apologetic about the most wonderful Union in life. When I hear husbands say “HWHL” it insinuates that the only problems lie within the woman’s personality. We should never let a lack of self-confidence bleed over into how we talk about our other half.

So, after some thought tonight, I realized that the flaw is not necessarily in the saying itself but in the understanding or misunderstanding of it. The idea is not to please your wife at all costs but to be a man that inspires her, a husband that she can be proud of, one in whom she sees the things that she wants to be… of which should be “happiness” and “life” itself.


*Wedding photographer Emily Renken