Land in Hand

Written after watching the VMA’s, edited here and there along the way.

I had to hide my child’s eyes too many times tonight. I wanted to watch the VMA’s so that I could hear a bit of newer music. See who is sounding good. Watch Taylor Swift’s new music video. We never watch TV so I thought, okay let’s go for it.

All of Joel’s thoughts could be summed up in a statement he made a couple performances in, “Are we watching porn?”

How in the world did it come to this? Like, I don’t mean to sound like an elderly person blabbing about how terrible the world is now, but basically, I can’t believe that I saw what I saw.

I wanted to post an apology to all of my younger sisters. The girls that I look in the eye in their voice lessons, Sunday school class and now in our youth choir, I’m just. So. Sorry.

Sorry that the idea of beauty before you is really just nudity. That if you aren’t showing off your skin you aren’t woman.

That’s bull.

There were a few exceptions to this of course. Alessia Cara, thank you for taking off the red lip stick and the diamonds and showing us that you’re enough without all of it. I think Pink’s attempt to define female as strong was nice. You don’t have to have long hair and a tiny waist to be feminine. And the section that was committed to the suicide hotline and those who have survived the temptation to take their life was really inspirational.

I am not one to be negative, ok? I’m really not. But when people are giving glory to God for a video that is complete filth, I take issue with that. Especially when women in your video are in the background being used as nothing but objects of sexuality. GROSS. I have tears in my eyes at how heartbroken I am that we have taken something so beautiful and something that is supposed to bond you to a person for life, and have made it into a marketing maneuver. Just greasy bodies grinding on whatever they can find.

I understand there’s a narrative that encourages women to be proud of their sexuality and their bodies. To not body shame. Be happy with the skin you’re in. But to me, it’s not the people talking constantly that have the most confidence. And it’s not the ones wearing the least amount of clothing that are most proud of their bodies.

Is it too much to ask that we be proud of the brains in our head more than our tail-end? Or that we focus on character and substance over cleavage? What are teenage girls even supposed to think? I’ll say this. They aren’t learning to be proud of the skin they’re in by seeing so much of your skin, celebrities. They’ll appreciate better who they are when you stop singing about sex constantly and sing about the things that matter. The things that add value and not just physical pleasure to the world. The real stuff. Stop feeding them addictive sweeteners and give them fruits and vegetables.

Do we really need more sex? Do we really need more unwanted pregnancies? More little boys and girls without both a mommy and daddy who are committed to each other and committed to love their children? More impulse and less rational?

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Calm down. Not every celebrity that shows off their body is trying to encourage everybody to go have sex. But…

It’s being thrown at them constantly and we’re expecting under-developed, fragile, and oh so precious minds to filter through it and make sense of it. I’m mad at you Snap Chat for allowing so much of teen’s news feeds to be full of trash. I’m mad at you MTV for valuing drama and sex over the type of people your viewers are becoming. You feel no responsibility for young minds.

I know every singer can’t sing about rainbows and butterflies. And I wouldn’t want them to. I also don’t expect them to wear turtle neck sweaters. But please, is it so much to ask to watch and appreciate music without worrying about a nip-slip? Am I being ridiculous to ask performers to step up their classiness and feel some responsibility to those listening to their music? I get that some performers’ audience isn’t teenagers and really some of this responsibility falls into the laps of their parents. But the whole show…was full…of nudity and sexual innuendos. And to be honest, the music wasn’t even very good.

Sorry, I just didn’t want to be silent anymore about this. You could never convince me that it’s GOOD for our society to show off your body parts in a way that encourages or inspires sex.

I think the church is at fault here as well because we’ve scared people from talking about sex. The world took over for us. They said, “Hey quit feeling so bad about your mistakes. No regrets. Move on and do what makes you happy.” So we’re doing that, but we’re not focusing on what makes us whole. THAT’S WHAT GOD WANTS FOR US. Not just happiness. But wholeness.

I spend almost 10 hours of my week talking with, teaching to, and loving on teenagers. And I can tell you right now, none of them are stronger or brighter because of seeing some celebrity’s butt hanging out of their shorts.

I’m sorry if I seem mad. But my sweet sisters, you deserve better. And my sweet brothers, I understand you are being dealt a really difficult set of cards and being asked to make manly decisions when you’ve just received your learner’s permit.

Ladies, I love you. I think you are smart and beautiful and amazing and I don’t need to see what your body looks like to know that. I want you to feel proud of your bodies. Proud of who God made you to be. But you are more than skin. You are more than your curves or your face. Value yourself too much to hand out sexuality like candy with how you act and dress.

Matthew 7:6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

Probably saying a lot of things that have already been said. But I’ll add my voice to the noise because I think it matters. And I talk to too many sweet teenagers that deserve better than this.